Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Final Post for Class

In the last 10 weeks I have learned a couple new things. I know that my writing skills still suck and probably always will. I have never been good at writing and it has never been one of my strong suits. I will however probably keep writing in the blog because it is a good place to just go vent even if no one reads it, but if it is read sometimes you get another view on what is going on, or even some advice. I really enjoyed this class and it always teaches me no matter how good my writing is never give up even though the outcome is not what you are hoping for. Good luck to all in the class for the future in there school work and in our profession.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Paper and Writing

I have never been big on writing. I honestly have never liked to write unless it is my poetry and actually no one ever reads it not even my husband. It is an outlet for me, sort of my own little corner I go and set in. I am glad that we are done with the paper and I am always glad when I am done writing any paper when I have to do one. I am not good at doing them in my own opinion, but am always re-leaved when they are done. I know I will never physically be able to totally ever avoid writing all together it is part of the every day to day world and pretty much we are all stuck with it weather we like it or not.   

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A realization

I have really enjoyed having this blog to be able to go to and vent. It is nice when there is a comment to read or maybe a helpful hint or statement to help me threw a problem I have been having. I admit that I have not always been going and reading or even commenting on other blogs. I do try to at least go and try and help or give helping advise to maybe brighten someones day.

This week I have had not only a physical brake down but also a mental and spiritual. I have been literally stuck in my bed for the past 2 weeks to the point I can not even walk to do something we all take for granted every day just to be able to get up and go to the bathroom with out having to be carried, or even to be able to take a shower and get dressed. If I did not have my husband I do not know what I would do.

I went in with my husband to work yesterday and went and talked to the Navy Chaplin for this area and believe me he has to take care of over 3 states by himself that is a major task for him to have to do every week. I think finally in years I feel like I might be finally headed on the path that was intended for me to be following for years. I have let God back in my life and I had not realized until we were together talking and praying yesterday that my life had no meaning before that and that is why I had and have been in this slump and down in the dumps for the last 6 plus years. I do not know how I let my self go a stray. I do know know what I was thinking or what was going threw my head during these years. I know for at least 8 years because that is how old my daughter is I have listened to my mother and father preach at me that I need to not only get god in there life's but it was there responsibility as god parents. I feel that I have failed my children in many ways.

I know that it has only been a day but I have made a promise to myself and to god to try and live each day as I should in gods eyes. I know I am human and not perfect but that is why god is there he is not there to judge but to love you and help you threw times of need and joys in your day to day life.

I do need him and I need to find a way to let go of this pain I have everyday and to let god help me threw these trying times. I pray that he will show me the way and to help me let go of the pain I have and to give me the strength to better my children, husband, my live and spiritually. I just wish I would have done this years a go and let myself free of all that I have been needing to let go of and put into the lords hands, because he is there and he does work in ways we will never truly understand.

If I am not the only one out there and I know I am not that needs to be inspired again I hope this has helped you in a way.

God Bless 

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Last 6 weeks

The last six weeks I have been working on compiling information about fibromyalgia. This topic for me has helped me a lot. I am glad I chose to do this topic. I am hoping what I have learned will help me in trying to figure out how to cope with the pain I have day in and day out. I have also been in contact with a nurse from John Hopkins that will be helping me change most of my doctors to get better help with dealing with fibromyalgia. I am hoping to be able to get a new pain doctor that is willing to help me, because my current pain doctor wont. It is really frustrating because everyone is pulling me all different ways including my husband about the treatment I get. I do not understand how I am suppose to do physical therapy but when I do it puts me in severe pain. Last week I tried to clean the house and it put me in bed for 4 days. I feel like I am trying to swim but all I do is drowned.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


I get so frustrated at home when I am not feeling well because I feel I have no respect with the kids and even my husband. I busted my but all day Friday to clean the house and then I got really sick. I have fibromyalga and I got the flu on top of that. While I was in bed all weekend they destroyed the whole house. I do not get it how do they do it in a day and then let it go until I am better then I have to do it all over. I can not stand it. I wish just for once they could feel the pain it puts me in and I just have to deal with it because there is really nothing I can do for it unless I want to live in bed. I go every day in pain and I have a high pain tolerance and a tolerance to pain medication. I am so tired of being and dealing with this pain everyday.

Another frustration is there is a doctor in Pa. that for the last say over 10 year has been one giving saline in place of every shot he has ever given and second has been molesting children and there is over a 1000. This has hit home because one of my husbands coworkers has been taking there kids there for the last 3 year and yes there kids were in the batch that were. There is so much evidence on this guy but because when they did the search of the property he is saying the warent did not cover one of the buildings they searched and for that the evidence. Also he has practiced all over the US





Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My week and a 1/2 + more

For the last week and a half I have been getting ready for my daughter and son to go to school. Faith started on Monday and Tristan starts kindergarten on Thursday just for one day. He will start normal K on Monday. I was fine when Faith started school because she was and still is a handful and was so ready for that break during the week. Tristan on the other hand is the total opposite.  I think this time him starting school is going to hit me hard. He has been home alone with me from a year old.

I have been trying to get my house clean for a little over a week now and it seems like it takes me so long to do anything now. My house is only one level with 3 small bedrooms a tiny living room that is suppose to be a living room slash dining room but I do not know how you can get more than 2 couches in there and still be room for a dining room. and a tiny kitchen. This is what the government gives us to live in (For people who have been in the military for over 17 years). It kills me because they have given people that have just got in with a family brand new houses that are four times the room I have because its a ploy to get them to stay in longer. Back to the cleaning it takes me so long these because of the fibromyalgia. I am in so much pain or not even able to get out of the bed, also my friend had to go in for emergency surgery and I have had her 4 kids for the last week (there ages are from 1-7).

I need a vacation from everything because I am so burnt out. I want to go back to my friends house in Canada and stay with him for two weeks. I loved it no kids or husband to bother me and no HOUSE to clean. I went and saw him 2 years ago before Halloween. He lives in Calgary. It is beautiful, made me home sick for Washington State. I lived in Washington while I was in Jr. High and again for the last 3 years of being in  the Coast Guard, and another 2 years after I got out. I love Washington I miss the rain and the overcast cool weather.

We are up for new orders this next summer and we are hoping to go to Alaska or Washington. I can't wait and hope we can get one of the 2.

Ok, I am going to log off I need to get my homework done. If not I can ramble for hours.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Fort George Meade (Army Base)

Now Face Book page is violating our civil rights.
For all of you out there that have problems with the Base Command, Security, or Housing I hope you would write you Senators. I have been around the military from the day I took my first breath. My father is a retired Navy LT Commander (MUSTANG), I also served in the Coast Guard, and now I am a Coast Guard Spouse. Never in my whole life have I been on a base with the problems Fort Meade has.
Last winter right after the first storm I had a dear shot 10 yards from my back door. I live on base. The night it happened security told us they did not have the man power to have just one patrol car set and wait for the guy to pick it up. The guy had been out there for the last month before it happened scoping out the area. We had told them that he was going to be back to get the dear that night. The next morning he came around and yes he got the dear. We were not able to get a license plate at the time but we knew the truck. When we finely found the guy they said they did not have anything that they could get the guy on. Come to find out he lived a block over. Because of security's screw up and let me add head of security and the CO of the base said that he was behind security on it I do not know what else to do.
Another incident was a report me and my neighbor filed. One of the people in security called the person and told them word for word what was written. Another case of my civil rights broken. 
I am not even going to get started with housing. I would be here for another hour or two.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Wow I have learned a lot this week not only in this class dealing with my blog and with all of linking different I use or go to. I have been working on my other class this week and it is the legal and ethical aspects of the health information professional. I didn't realize when I chose my degree it had to deal with a lot of the different classes I have been in thus far. I am glad though it is keeping me on my feet and I am learning things I probably never would have known otherwise.  

Monday, August 9, 2010

I think I messed up my whole blog lol

I do not know what I did for some reason it is now showing up as ambluesquilts78@gmail.com, before the "am" was not there and I think it has to do with my stupid Droid. While creating this and messing with Gmail, and also trying to change everything from my messed up Droid to the new one I do not know how it was created (I think my husband did it with the Verizon operator). So I am hoping it will show up right for all of you I will go back in and fix it on Kaplan.